I found myself wanting to be a better man

An Intentional Journey Story

I grew up knowing there was a God. My parents made sure that I knew that much, but they never really put into practice teaching me what it meant to be a Godly person.

By the time I was twelve I was watching pornography, by fifteen I was smoking cigarettes and marijuana. I snorted my first pain pill when I was seventeen. I quit going home and began stealing to eat, for entertainment or for any reason at all.

My life was meaningless. But something else happened when I was seventeen; I met the love of my life. She became my girlfriend, lover, wife and then mother to my child. I always knew God was there, but I didn't stop to listen to what he wanted me to hear. I believe God sent my wife to me in an effort to finally get through my thick skull and get me to listen.

Then I truly found God, or maybe He found me. I found myself wanting to be a better man and wanting to bring God all the glory that he deserves.

I found Family Life Radio and began looking at myself even deeper than I ever had. All that darkness was still inside of me. I had been hiding pornography from my wife since before I knew her, and each day it hurt more and more.

After starting the Intentional Living Journey, I came up with my first One Thing: to have faith in God and do what he tells me to do without trying to reason my way out of it. After all, it is His will that is important, not mine.

That first One Thing led me to become completely honest with my wonderful wife, who was extremely hurt by my secret. She forgave me and we are now working through it.

I guess that it all sums up to God's love; it is greater than any love anyone could find anywhere, and His forgiveness is boundless. I recently found myself wanting, wanting the love and salvation of God and his only son Jesus. I have gone through a transformation that I wouldn’t have thought possible if not for God.

Now I am a new man, with a fresh heart, and a fresh start.