There’s a verse you most likely know and may have even committed to memory. 

Now, try reading it read it again with fresh eyes, as if you haven’t heard it before.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16 NIV)

You see, God did the forgiving long before you did the repenting. This model of forgiveness from your heart is vital to remember when dealing with someone who has wronged you, particularly if that someone is your spouse.

I remember a marriage conference I taught years ago up in the mountains. All of the couples and I sat around a campfire for the closing session. And as I spoke on the importance of not holding a grudge, I asked each person to do something significant and symbolic.

1. First, I had them pick up a piece of straw and look at it, thinking about the offense that they felt, and asked them to consider God’s forgiveness.

2. Then I asked them to throw the straw into the fire and watch it burn right before their eyes.

3. I said, “That’s exactly what God does with your sin when we ask for His forgiveness, and it’s what you need to do with that offense.”

Forgive first – especially with your husband or wife. It’ll bring healing in your marriage.