What's Really Important
Have you ever thought about what you would ask for if you were granted just one wish? I've always figured the smart answer would be, "Two more wishes." But if you could have one wish and one wish only for your family what would it be? Would you wish that your children or grandchildren be financially successful, remain healthy, or receive the best education? How about wishing for a good spouse for them? Or would it be that they simply stay out of trouble for the rest of their lives? May I suggest that the best thing any of us could wish, or, better yet, pray for in our kids' lives, is that they stay on the path of righteousness God has for them. After all, if they remain faithful to their Creator, all else will fall into place. It may not mean that they become financially successful in the world's eyes. But it will mean that God will supply all of their needs. They may or may not become surgeons, attorneys, or sports legends. But they will accomplish God's best in their lives. And, it certainly won't mean that they will avoid hardship or even major mistakes. But it will mean that God will refine them into vessels fit for the Kingdom. But how do we help guide them down that path? One of the most important principles is to . . . Focus on What's Really Important We parents and, to a degree, grandparents tend to want to mold our kids into our own image instead of the image of God. Often this can mean that we wear out ourselves and what goodwill we have with them by trying too hard to get them to live up to our standards. Those standards can be as countless as the stars and twice as hard to reach. That can be tremendously frustrating for parent and child. The fact of the matter is, we aren't raising children as much as we're raising future adults. And that takes time. I'm not suggesting that we drop all of the standards we set for our kids. Only that we try to consolidate them under the heading of "Image of God." When you think of all of the areas of improvement you want to see in your child, how many of them really count for eternity? Any standards that don't fit that heading may not be worth keeping. For a couple of years my wife and I had an on-going battle with our daughter over whether or not she could get her ears pierced. One day I suggested to my wife that the issue of pierced ears was eating into our relationship with Jennifer, and that it was not a battle worth waging. And, as strongly as my wife felt about the hassles associated with placing and maintaining two extra holes in one's ears, the issue really had nothing to do with our ultimate goal of growing Jennifer into an adult who loved and served Christ. We decided to let Jennifer make her own decision, but only after she carefully considered the long-term responsibility. To our delight, Jennifer surveyed her friends who had pierced ears and found that the majority of them wouldn't pierce their ears if they had the chance to do it again. Her informed decision was to not pierce her ears. The issue was resolved, our relationship with Jennifer was improved, and she took one more step toward becoming a responsible adult. But even if she had decided to pierce her ears, the same would have been accomplished. Choose your battles carefully. Remember, you're raising "future adults." And stay focused on the real goal for your children -- keeping them on the path of righteousness.